This entire situation made me laugh a lot at the time, and continues to make my heart smile right now, so I'm going to share it!... This entire thing happened via email, over the course of about an hour...

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Kind of new to Miami - 32 (Miami)
Reply to: pers-938276881@craigslist.org [?]Date: 2008-11-29, 3:33PM EST

About me
I grew up in Boston, I live down here now. Work moved me down here from NYC, then I decided to stay because of the weather and because people in Miami always obey traffic laws. I'm looking for new people to corrupt me, steal from me, take advantage of me, possibly in a dark alley but only if the chemistry is right.

I'm really looking for a girl with a lot of issues and baggage. Maybe a psycho ex boyfriend. Maybe you just got out of a relationship and you're not over your ex. I'll even settle for mildly interesting conversation at this point. I like to set the bar low in my relationships so there are never any dissapointments.

If you are a female, have all or even most of your teeth, educated, practice good hygiene habits, enjoy food (preferably in moderation as I like to exercise, however if you don't eat at all that's not good). If you feel you fit this profile, or any part of it, by all means write to me. I'll have my assistant respond to you.

Thank you
Insert Name Here

For Fun:
I'm a raging booze hound. For fun I like to drink and make fun of others with my friends. I'm kidding, my friends don't join in.

My education:
I have lots of it, I don't feel as though I'm putting my degree to good use. Clearly this ad shows that.

Favorite Things:
Family Guy, coffee, people that get mad at me when I can't understand what they're saying to me in Spanish. Oh, I also want to be able to speak spanish and I'm anxious to learn so it would help if you spoke Spanish. If you don't speak any english and I don't speak any spanish I'm not sure how a relationship could work. Well that's not true, it works in movies and movies are never fake.

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alesheia.hakester@gmail.com to pers-938276881 Dec 2
Why hello, Insert Name Here! Back in Michigan (where I resided prior to Miami Beach), my roommates & I used to enjoy looking at CraigsList personals because they never failed to make us laugh. In boredom tonight I decided that I needed to bring back a little tradition. Subsequently, I felt it important to tell you how pleasant your post was! It's probably a bunch of your friends pasting your picture on a fake pseudo-profile or something, but kudos to whoever did it! Particularly the choice to stay in Miami "for the weather and because people in Miami always obey traffic laws." (Superb intro.) I don't have enough emotional baggage to fly trans-Atlantic, but if you want to Rosetta Stone some Spanish sometime, have your assistant email my people! Best of luck!

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Glad I could entertain. The ad was all me. Pure boredom mixed with a mind numbing hangover created it.

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Well, I loved it! I'm happy that witty people actually do exist in Cuba..

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The hate mail alone was worth writing the ad. Apparently few people appreciate my sarcastic whit. Fuck em if they can't take a joke. I believe it was ghandi that coined that phrase

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I believe you're right...though he was more than likely paraphrasing something Max Beemis said on an early Say Anything album. Haha, were people a little hyper-sensative about your love for a good psycho ex?

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The more classic responses...
This raging douche bag that said my comments about getting taken advantage of in a dark alley made me sound like a rapist. I responded from an anonymous email that I know who she is and I've seen where she sleeps.

A guy that wrote I was narrow minded in my comments about the spanish language. Again anonymously I responded that I couldn't tell from his tone if he was a mexican wet back or a castro loving cuban. But either way english speaking catholics are the only ones that go to heaven.

So many people to mess with, such little time

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I get that it's pretty much what I was doing, but who sits around & reads CraigsList personals just to bitch about political correctness!? If they want something up their ass, I'm sure there's a cornfield someplace within a days drive...And, um, it's not just Catholics! Good Southern Baptists are Holy, too..

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Whatever when I get to the pearly gates I'm going to run the show like a night club. Only the pretty people will get in.

And forget cornfields. This is craigslist if u want something up your ass you can pay for it here!

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That's the most of it...all in all, just an entertaining way to spend an hour of night!