People really suck! Even friends seem to struggle being generally nice. I'm not even remotely trying to make you think that I am an exception to this rule, I am more mean than a lot of my friends, actually. But seeing other people do it makes me sad, and realize how much I really suck even though I do next to nothing to change myself...

So one of my buddies takes a standardized test. He scores extremely high, and I am so proud of him! I am so pumped in fact, that I feel the burning need to share the info with another friend of mine, who didn't do that badly on the same test. Instead of going nuts and being really pumped, much like myself when I heard the news, the first words out of his mouth are, "What a loser!" Okay, well, "loser" isn't the word I would use to describe someone who just got a ticket to any college he wants. Maybe saying "I'm jealous, why can't I be as awesome as him?" would have been more appropriate there.

That was what happened today that inspired this Rant. However, there are 5 million other instances that fit this scrotching scenario! Why can't friends just be happy for each other? Have you noticed that it sometimes seems easier to show kindness to those you don't know than those that you do? You don't go up to the stranger sitting on the bench and say "You're so worthless, why can't you do anything right?" even if he is and he can't...but here, you have a person you consider a friend, who you have seen do things worthwhile, and witnessed them doing something right, and you rip them apart.

Are we going for low self-esteem? Make ourselves feel better about us? What is there to feel good about when you are being so mean and cruel to other people, the people that you expect to be there for you when the going gets tough? And then to act suprised when they want nothing to do with you...wow. I love stupid people!

Taking another sports look at things, let's go back to those starters and second-stringers. You've got the starters who are all about praising their second-string counterparts when they have to sit the bench. "It's all good man, you're a great player, you'll get your day, you're just in a bad position, we've got tons of talent there." Then, starter has a bad game. Gets pulled out after error 12. So second-string goes out there, and now starter is yelling at him, swearing, saying "I could do better than that! What's he doing out there?" Well buddy, maybe you're not out there because you couldn't cut the proverbial mustard. Deal with it. Praise your friend a litte, help him out. As long as you're starting you have no problem telling him how good he is and sympathise with him about the fact that he's getting screwed by sitting the bench. That was when you had a starting position. Now you're sitting the bench and not getting any encouragement at all, besides the underlying "you'd be better off in Siberia" tones that Coach keeps having when he talks to or about you, amidst compliments about your former bench-sitting friend.

I am tired...I might add more to this rant later. Take care!

Why do people think that they must drink to have fun? Seriously, if someone has some valuable input as to why not having control over yourself is fun, let me know! For some reason, I struggle seeing it.

My class sucks with that. What is so great about winning a big game, and "celebrating" the victory by getting so obliterated that they hardly remember anything the next day. The definition of the Class of 2003. It's like most of them don't know how to have fun without alcohol anymore. I hear of these people, some of them kids I've known since elementary school, and they are so gone now. It's not entirely alcohol, but boy does that play a huge role in some of them.

So it's Wednesday. You're chillin', it's in between classes, and your buddy comes up to you, "Hey, big thing at [insert Lakewood kids name here], you should come!" Alright, I'm there! Oh, that's right...that's the same house where 5 kids got MIP's last fall, and where there is more weed than the average unkept lawn. Wonderful. I don't have a life to life, or a future to think about at all. I'm never planning on getting away from here anyway, so why not go for it? Oh that's RIGHT! I like having control over my self! Gosh, how could I forget? I'm so silly...

God forbid I suggest an alternative. "Well Alesheia, we could go to see a movie, but getting plastered sounds so much cooler! I might not even be able to move in the morning, YES!" Hey, sweet guys. Since I have to be up so early tomorrow, I would love to do something ridiculously stupid and feel like crap!

I keep focusing on that. That's the big thing. I don't care that my peers drink. More power to them, enjoying a cold, refreshing beverage just because they can (I said nothing of it being legal, but even you must admit that they are capable). But why must they drink so many of those cold, refreshing beverages that they can't remember doing it afterwards!? Oh my goodness, you people don't get it! People can get hurt doing that...that's how people die. That's how "accidents" happen, though I struggle calling it a legitimate "accident" if they made the conscious decision to drink and do something retarded. I hate those people.

For some, it's as if fun can't exist unless alcohol is there. You know, back in elementary, and even Junior High for some of us, we knew how to have a good time, and alcohol was not a factor. Birthday parties in 3rd grade, when your whole class got invited to go roller skating, or when they "cool kids" that you were friends with got to go play games and eat food at someone's house. Doubt that anyone spiked the punch at those! Now, you say the word "party" and you either get "is there going to be Bud there?" or "Man, I heard about [insert Lakewood name here] is having one too, but if I can still drive, sure!" Hmm, how 'bout no.

What is so cool about slowly killing your liver? Given, you're slowly dying anyway...looking technically at things...to speed the process seems a little silly. Here, kids your own age are dying due to other's stupidity, and you're injecting yourself with an insta-liver-killing serum. Yes! Where can I sign up!? Oh, right...at [insert name]'s house this weekend!

And when you ultimately decided to go do something cool and sober with other friends, you get the weird looks like you're that strange. Way to not do what everybody else is doing! You're missing out! Yes, missing out on watching my closest friends do things that make me sad and angry. Making me feel like I'm losing that much more of what I once had in the midst of every other change I'm going through right now. And making me realize that I am right where I want to be.

Hey...not too much here. I changed the time on this thing, so hopefully it will work now! Recognize! was also wrong, but I potentially fixed it. I had them set to Pacific time...I'm dumb. The baseball team did well on Saturday, so that was cool. I saw X-Men 2 on Friday...it was too cool! One of the best super hero movies ever, I think. That is going to be an awesome series of movies I think. Saturday I went to G-Rap and hung out with Liz. We had many good times. Prom is like, 5 days away. That is a little scary, actually. I'm excited to go with Nick, and my dress is going to rock. So...that event could go either way I think...very bad or very good. And I haven't seen Nick in a long time, so we have much catching up to do...I think it will go well.

The Rant. I have been struggling writing logical Rants, so all of my attempted ones have failed. I have a lot of good ideas for them, but when I try to actually do something with them, I just ramble about literally nothing. I get off-topic for multiple paragraphs. Which is super. So I have this list of topics, and sometime when I'm tired and feeling particularily annoyed, I will do some massive ranting. I promise! I apologize to those who read this (Martin, LeeAnn, Cass mostly, hehehe) because it has been sucking. :S Last night, I was in the right state of crappiness, but I was too tired and emotionally exhausted to think enough to Rant.

I like Gatorade. When I'm really thirsty, and water just can't do it, bust out a Gatorade. Soda doesn't quench a thirst like those extra electrolytes can, you know? :) But, for now I shall jett...more later!